Why I Love/Hate This Weekend

This weekend, I trek off for the annual Fantasy Basketball Draft. I always begin the countdown about 51 weeks before it comes. I count down with eager anticipation. I count down with equal dread.

1a. Time away from family is hard. I love my wife and kids (understatement of the year). It's not fun to let a night go by without kissing each of them before they go to sleep. I also feel bad when my amazing wife is left to chase 3 kids around on her own. There's no one I'd rather spend time with than the "Wright Clan," and I also feel guilt that I should be helping my wife over the weekend.
1b. It is nice to get away. I get to find out that my three year old is acting like...well, a three year old from other dads. I get to brag about my family a little (that's always fun.) I get to goof around and play xbox and forget the issues of: "how is the church? how high will natural gas go this winter? how bad have I messed up as a dad?" for just a brief spell. It is a refreshing time away.
2a. Too much to do in Winona. There are approximately 847 people I'd like to see in Winona Lake this weekend. Of course, I won't even be there for 24 hours. I leave wishing to have some significant time to find out how students I know are doing. I'd love to catch up with some faculty. And I know I should take advantage of doing some networking in the fellowship. I leave feeling terribly frustrated.
2b. There's not much to do in Winona. I don't want to fill my time solid with "appointments." Could I really enjoy meeting with a person if I just have to quit talking after an hour to meet someone else? Do I really want to need my day timer on a weekend that is supposed to be a break? But when you find a moment of rest, and there's not much to do, you find yourself feeling guilty that it's not filled with something more productive.
3a. I enjoyed college. I had a blast and made a lot of great friendships. It will be fun to see all those people and being back on campus allows you to reminisce about days gone by.
3b. I HATE who I was in college. This is reason I dread it most. Seriously. I was a self-righteous, arrogant, foul mouth. I wasn't hurling the seven words George Carlin explained can't be used on television, but my speech was far from the standard found in Ephesians 4:29. God has severely convicted me about this over the years. It really hurts when guys remind me of old things I used to say (not to hurt me, but because they thought they were funny) or begin to have conversations I used to have. I grieve to know how vile my heart was. Of course, like Isaiah, it's good to say, "Woe is me, for I am a man of unclean lips," for then the healing comes.
4a. Too much frivolous conversation. I didn't drive all the way to Winona Lake to hear about favorite TV shows. I don't just want an update on where guys are working, how old the kids are, etc.
4b. Too many deep conversations. I also know that not everyone wants to discuss theology or philosophy. I also know that any time a person starts telling me who they are, and not just what's going on in life, it's going to take time...and it probably means others will feel left out.
5a. I'm excited about a keeper league. I've pushed for this for about 6 years, and finally, I get to come to the draft knowing I have two players for sure. It's so much more fun to make the staples of your team all-stars rather than role players you hope no one else will draft. I also love the weighted draft. Even when things are difficult (see next subpoint), this feels more like being a real GM, and is more fun.
5b. My team is doomed. My first keeper (Amare) just went down for four months (minimum) for a knee problem no one knew he had. My second keeper made a bid for Finals MVP (Ginobili), only to have the Spurs load up the backcourt with more players (VanExel, Finley) who will eat into his playing time. Odds were in my favor to come away with the sixth pick of the first round. I have the 9th. Followed by the 12th pick (of 13) in the second round. And I will be stuck with much of this team for the whole year!

If you think about it, pray for me this weekend.

As you can see from the distorted nature of this post, if you think about it, pray for everyone who will be stuck around me this weekend.