Welcome to Carnivorous Caribou

Tuesday, October 04, 2005

SFL--Week 4

Week 4 comes to a close with one powerhouse losing, and two showing they are certainly vunerable. The results for the conference that more than likely will represent the Super Bowl Champ...

BLACK CONFERENCE

Deaf Pears 95.08
Bee Stings 115.27

Coach Wright was glad to walk away with the win, but was quite complimentary about the Pears. "Zach's team played pretty well," said Wright, "I mean, for having the least amount of points in our entire conference, he made it a game for a little while." Most media would beg to differ; stating that most of the Pears points came in "garbage time." Zach's Pears played pretty decent defense (Cincinnatti--14 points) but were not match for Wright's Atlanta Defense (20 points). Wright humbly said, "I'm not sure our defense is that good, or it was just that we got to go up against Daunte Culpepper!"

Goodasgoldfinches 102.32
Attack of the Llamas 89.05

Brett Favre (35.46) bailed the Yellow Birdies out as Donovan McNabb (31.73) just couldn't match his point total. Scouts are beginning to question whether the canaries are as strong as their 4-0 record may seem. Said one scout, who wished to remain unnamed, "As long as they keep riding Favre's back, it could become a bumpy ride." Some other owners even wonder if Todd's win this week was due to a distracted competitor. "The whole week I'm trying to work with my team, and my brother keeps bugging me about maple syrup," Jordan Fisher explains. "Not just any maple syrup either. He says it has to come from the "Maple City" (Goshen Indiana). I told him to bug off. I've got a team to coach and roof to tear off. Next week, I'll have more focus."

Fighting Amish 95.31
the REAL finch 96.35

It appears another Finch may be the recipient of good fortune more than shrewd coaching. CJ just squeaks by the Amish with nothing more than the kicking game. When Shawn Graham (4 points) out kicks Adam Vinatieri (-1 points) you know it's a weird week. The Amish however, announced a plan to upgrade Vinatieri's kicking game. "We're going to tell him that there are only 3 seconds left in the game every time he goes out to kick," Kory explained. "That way he's sure to nail it. It should be easy to do too. We had the electricity disconnected from our scoreboard last month."

Terrell's Sharpies 98.86
Great Danes 87.18

The Sharpies have bounced back from an 0-2 start to bring themselves back up to .500. Jake Delhomme (15.77) outperformed the Danes second string quarterback by 15.77 points. It appears the Danes were toying with a new offense, choosing not to start a second quarterback. Rumor is, the Danes were so worried about a quarterback controversy that they decided to bench their second quarterback.

And in the RED CONFERENCE (aka NFC aka wannabe's)

Bradshaw's Bloggers 105.14
Graceful Gorillas 90.59

From Week One, the Bloggers have continued to improve each week. The defense looked crisp (Atlanta--20) as the offense picked apart Stumps defense (Carolina--2). If the Bloggers are scoring 105.14 points in Week 4, and they are doing all they can to avoid peaking early, does that mean they will score 347 points in the first round of the playoffs?

Jones Cyclones 92.01
Fabulous Underpants 121.98

Kicking was the story in this game. Up by only 15 points, the Underpants were given a break as the referees called back a Cyclone interception returned for a touchdown. Replays showed the referees call was questionable at best. Jones, having enough of the biased officiating decided to take matters into his own hands...or should we say feet? Jones ran into the middle of the field and busted out a "Rusted-Chevette-Sleeping-Turtle Kick" on the head official. With no one sure what to do with the situation, the officials decided to award the Underpants 15 penalty kicks. Neal Rackers nailed 14/15 (securing 14 points for the week) as David Akers never made a kick for the Cyclones. The league is investigating whether Jones will suffer further consequence. Rumor is, even if there are consequences, no one wants to be the one to have to tell him.

Derek's Derelicts 97.18
Great Dawgs 125.22

Right now, the Dawgs and the NY Giants are looking like geniuses for signing Plaxico Burress (24.20). But commissioner Danny Wright just wants to remind Mr. Fisher that the Steelers front office does not make mistakes. "Plax is a head case." Wright torted. "He's just teasing Dick. As soon as it's playoff time, he'll do something stupid and cost Dick a chance at the ring." Obviously, Derek must have agreed, feeling that he didn't even need to start a wide receiver opposite of Plax. No one is sure what the Gangers are doing, sitting a player a week, but the extra rest they are giving their players could prove valuable at the end of the season.

AJ's Wildcats 73.04
Galloping Greyhounds 60.98

If you were told at the beginning of the week that Gregg's team would have 60.98 points, you probably would have asked, "Which of his players had 60.98 points?" But Chris jumped on the fact that the Hounds were overlooking him and had the surpise victory of the season. His Tampa Bay defense (9 points) embarrassed Gregg's Viking defense (-2 points) which obviously wasn't ready to play. With Gregg's diminished point total, owners were also left to ask, "Can dogs gallop anyway?"

League Standings

4-0 aka "If you've got to be good or lucky, we'll take lucky"
the REAL finch
goodasgoldfinches

3-1 aka "In the B league, we've beat up on the other guys"
Galloping Greyhounds
Bradshaws Bloggers
Fabulous Underpants
AJ's Wildcats

2-2 aka "Clearly some of the scariest teams in the league"
Bee Stings
Terrell's Sharpies
Great Dawgs
Derek's Derelicts

1-3 aka "Not too early to prepare for next year's draft"
Attack of the Llamas
Fighting Amish
Great Danes
Deaf Pears

0-4 aka "Hey, they have to play each other eventually"
Graceful Gorillas
Jones Cyclones

2 Comments:

  • At 3:01 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    Danny......
    My team was just so scared of Vinatari
    that they backed off a little well, except for Tomlinson who wasn't scared at all and told Vinitari to "be afraid
    be very afaid" and he obviously was.


    -the best-aka-cami

     
  • At 9:26 PM, Anonymous Kory said…

    the Amish have been reinvigorated by a new found Maple Syrup recipe. Kory "Yoder" Puckett said, I could plow 40 acres after a stack of those jacks and that awesome Goshen Maple Syrup. Watch out! And thats even WITH a broken collarbone!

     

Post a Comment

Links to this post:

Create a Link

<< Home