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Friday, March 24, 2006

Tastebud Trama

Anyone who doesn't believe that expectations play into perception should try drinking what they think is water but is actually Sprite. I had a similar moment Wednesday night.

Our son's birthday is in just a couple days, and my wife has been experimenting/perfecting the cake preparation for "the Elmo cake." I walked into the house upbeat but fatigued. My wife was on the phone, so I stood there in the kitchen for a minute. As I'm standing there, I notice this yellow/orange glop on the side of the sink. Thinking it is frosting (which I absolutely love!) I swipe my finger with it and suck the big glop off of my finger. Little did I know that about five minutes before I walked into the door an "emergency egg salad sandwich" had been prepared. By the time I realized I had just taken a major swipe of mustard, and not frosting, I had already swallowed it and just had to ride through the contortions and spasms my body was going through. Normally, I like mustard, but I don't think I want a cake iced with it.

Ever heard of Chittlins? When I used to work at an auto parts store during high school, a coworker brought an entire bag of homemade chittlins. I watched the guy continually popping them in his mouth and decided to check them out. They looked like Taco Bell Cinnamon Twists and so I assumed they tasted the same. The taste was so revolting, I became physically nauseous. Of course, when Jesse told me I was eating pig intestines, that didn't really help either.

But the worst of all was when I mistook Clorox for cooking oil. I walked by the kitchen table one day where there was a measuring cup filled with clear liquid. For some reason, I couldn't resist the impulse to stick my finger in it and give it a lick (not sure why, it's not like i enjoy the taste of cooking oil.) This time however, the spasms were accompanied by the fear that licking a finger covered in clorox could kill you.

Now the time i brushed my teeth with peroxide in stead of bottled water was cool...but I digress.

And to think, when we go out tonight, my wife will probably make fun of me for ordering the same thing I always do.


  • At 3:10 PM, Blogger jason said…

    Okay, everything else was funny except the clorox thing. Either clorox or straight cooking oil would be awful... so why try it in the first place.

    I've also heard that some flavors of Jones Soda can really give the taste buds a shock.

    By the way they're selling for $50 bucks a bottle on Ebay.

  • At 4:00 PM, Anonymous McGriff said…

    Remember the time you sniffed salt up your nose to make it bleed for one dollar, or the time we acted like counselors using a skittles wrapper, or got sick on a giant sized box of cheezits watching vanilla ice...looky, looky, looky into catz black bookie...yep, yep she likes me.

    All that to say, your little foul ups don't surprise me at all.

  • At 1:45 PM, Blogger Jones said…

    hm, clorox eh? i just thought you were dropped on your head or something... (just kidding!) i think you have a problem with putting stuff in your mouth in general, such as jason's mic on wednesday nights...

  • At 10:58 PM, Blogger Charity said…

    That does it - we're selling the other box of Jones Thanksgiving soda! We could go on vacation with all the money we'll make!

    You forgot to mention the time you thought a bowl of butter was vanilla pudding and took a huge bite . . .

  • At 3:45 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    Knowing the Wright children as I do don't EVER assume Charity has just made fudge......



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