Tastebud Trama

Anyone who doesn't believe that expectations play into perception should try drinking what they think is water but is actually Sprite. I had a similar moment Wednesday night.

Our son's birthday is in just a couple days, and my wife has been experimenting/perfecting the cake preparation for "the Elmo cake." I walked into the house upbeat but fatigued. My wife was on the phone, so I stood there in the kitchen for a minute. As I'm standing there, I notice this yellow/orange glop on the side of the sink. Thinking it is frosting (which I absolutely love!) I swipe my finger with it and suck the big glop off of my finger. Little did I know that about five minutes before I walked into the door an "emergency egg salad sandwich" had been prepared. By the time I realized I had just taken a major swipe of mustard, and not frosting, I had already swallowed it and just had to ride through the contortions and spasms my body was going through. Normally, I like mustard, but I don't think I want a cake iced with it.

Ever heard of Chittlins? When I used to work at an auto parts store during high school, a coworker brought an entire bag of homemade chittlins. I watched the guy continually popping them in his mouth and decided to check them out. They looked like Taco Bell Cinnamon Twists and so I assumed they tasted the same. The taste was so revolting, I became physically nauseous. Of course, when Jesse told me I was eating pig intestines, that didn't really help either.

But the worst of all was when I mistook Clorox for cooking oil. I walked by the kitchen table one day where there was a measuring cup filled with clear liquid. For some reason, I couldn't resist the impulse to stick my finger in it and give it a lick (not sure why, it's not like i enjoy the taste of cooking oil.) This time however, the spasms were accompanied by the fear that licking a finger covered in clorox could kill you.

Now the time i brushed my teeth with peroxide in stead of bottled water was cool...but I digress.

And to think, when we go out tonight, my wife will probably make fun of me for ordering the same thing I always do.