SFL--Week 3

BLACK CONFERENCE

Goodasgoldfinches 105.25
Bee Stings 102.18

One can look at the "Yellowbirdies" and "REAL finch" and see a connection. The connection, however, is not in the bloodlines. The connection is found in Pittsburgh. Said coach Danny Wright, after the game, "Last week, CJ beat us only because she had the Pittsburgh defense. Todd, in the same way, capitalized on Pittsburgh shutting down the Patriots (Brady and Branch) offense. They won't be able to continue on this run." In the end, the Bee Stings took a moral victory, knowing that even while his best quaterback and wide receiver faced the best defense in the NFL, Todd still was barely able to eek out a victory.

the REAL finch 135.69
Attack of the Llamas 108.98

Deuce McAllister put in a noble contribution (13.70) for the Llamas, but it couldn't stack up to LaDanian Tomlinson's career game (39.12). Many wondered if CJ's team would play well, having barely squeeked out a victory last week, but they were able to ride the L-train to another victory.

Terrells Sharpies 92.96
Deaf Pears 91.67

Corey Dillon, still ecstatic to be released from football purgatory (Cincinnatti) ran like a madman (21 points) outdistancing Pears MVP Priest Holmes (8.05). Said Pears coach, Zach Fisher, "I kept trying to get Priest to absolve Corey, but Corey misunderstood and kept running from us. If I would have known he was going to run all the way to Goshen and back, I would have made plans to go with him and visit friends."

Fighting Amish 93.38
Great Danes 45.63

League officials are looking into whether the Amish are allowed to order the stadium lights shut off due to religious conviction. Great Danes head coach Dane Ganger explained the situation. "First they called us early in the week saying that the game shouldn't start till 9pm since one of their horses got West Nile Virus and the trip to our stadium would take longer. Then they order the stadium lights be turned off due to their religious views. In their black uniforms we couldn't see anyone. It made it impossible to tackle." Obviously, the darkened field made the passing game difficult, as Isaac Bruce (.75) outshined Pierless Price (0.00) points.

In the Junior League...

Jones Cyclones 100.61
Bradshaws Bloggers 112.59

Coach Andrew had his team the most prepared for play of all season. Drew Brees played well, scoring 19.77 points. However, out of nowhere, Daunte Culpepper remembered how to play (24.6) bringing his season total up to .34 points. Jones had set an entire defense predicated on letting Daunte throw the ball as much as possible. Unfortunately, this week, that strategy backfired.

The Great Dawgs 91.70
Fabulous Underpants 104.71

Some say the victory was due to LT outperforming Deuce McAllister, but Ty saw it a different way. Said Ty, "I overheard one Dawg player telling another how they got their name. When they realized it was an allusion to the Cleveland Browns one of the players stated, 'Dude, the only way we're going to be competitive is if we move to Baltimore and change our name.' At that, half the team left the stadium. It was easy for Tomlinson then."

AJ Wildcats 112.29
Graceful Gorillas 91.72

Monty's team continues to struggle to get out of the gate. Many were concerned that after winning the championship, the Gorillas just wouldn't have the same hunger. His Carolina defense (2 points) looked flat as the Tampa Bay defense of Chris' looked crisp (13 points).

Derek's Derelicts 78.35
Galloping Greyhounds 159.23

159.23
159.23
159.23
Before you panic, let me encourage you that the season is not over. Gregg could still have a party in his back yard, where half his team could easily drown in Lake Rigsby. Or if his players hear that he collects Longaberger baskets, they may lose respect for him and begin to play poorly. Either way, thanks Jeff Wilkens for only scoring 3 points and allowing Derek to beat you at one position (Jason Elam, 6 points).

At the end of three weeks, the breakdown is:

3-0 aka "Living off of Pittsburgh"
Goodasgoldfinches; the REAL finch; Galloping Greyhounds

2-1 aka "Two more wins than Green Bay may see this year"
Bradshaws Bloggers; Fabulous Underpants; AJ Wildcats; Derek's Derelicts

1-2 aka "Just giving you all a headstart"
The Great Dawgs; Bee Stings; Attack of the Llamas; Terrell's Sharpies; Fighting Amish; Great Danes; Deaf Pears

0-3 aka "Why we call it the b-league"
Graceful Gorillas; Jones Cyclones