Bengals Acquire Michael Vick

LOVELAND, OH--Due to an NFL policy (apparently inacted about 4 years ago), the Atlanta Falcons are required to trade Michael Vick to the Cincinnati Bengals at "bargain basement" price, according to an unnamed official. This transaction must be made in regard to other recent new developments.

Carson Palmer, when asked if he was nervous about Vick's arrival simply stated, "Not unless they move our training facility a little further north."

According to another unnamed official, Vick could have also ended up with the Cleveland Browns, however NFL commissioner Roger Goodell stepped in and blocked any transactions stating, "It would probably be inappropriate to send Vick to a team nicknamed the dawgs, even if misspelled, at this time."