Pittsburgh Doctrines of Grace

[I have been receiving a lot of grief about Roethlisberger's appendectomy in my fantasy football league. The following was the newrelease from my Tahoe T.U.L.I.P.s]

TAHOE,NV--As many make jest of the injuries of one created in the image of God, claiming that Steeler fans should be in mourning, the T.U.L.I.P.s would like to thank Bill Cowher and Dan Rooney for illustrating the "doctrines of grace."

T-total depravity- Any team starting Charlie Batch at quarterback is totally helpless, dead, if you will.

U-unconditional election- It appears to be the only explanation for signing Charlie Batch to a contract. Talent? no way. Skills? not a bit. A decision of grace on the behalf of Steelers management based on nothing to do with the abilities of Mr. Batch? it would appear so.

L-limited atonement- The Super Bowl trophey is available to all, yet we know that it will actually only be owned by Pittsburgh again this year.

I-irresistable grace- The Steelers running game and wide receivers, paired with their defense, will keep even a team with Charlie Batch from feeling the pains of defeat. Victory is unavoidable.

P-perseverance of the saints- (note: this gets lost a little in the nfl. the words "saints" in this doctrine has nothing to do with a team in new orleans) The Steelers will evidence their championship identity as they continue to win week after week.

Some may consider an appendectomy to be a sign that this is not the Steelers year. The citizens of Tahoe, however, see this as a sign that it is the year of the T.U.L.I.P!

[By the way, Charlie Batch actually filled in quite admirably in 2005, including a brilliant half in a game with a broken hand.]