Who has Committed Adultery?

Continuing to explore the meaning behind Matthew 5:32 and Matthew 19:9 (what many have taken to assume is their permission to divorce), I want to begin by looking at two contextual issues. If you haven’t been keeping up with the series, I encourage you to first read an introduction to the issue as well as an explanation why our reaction to those divorced and those considering divorce must be different.

Before I begin, I would also like to explain that these next few posts (and my theological understanding of these passages) have been greatly influenced by my father. As long I can remember, I have been encouraged to look at these two passages carefully, understanding that diligence must be exercised to attain their genuine meaning. I share about my father’s influence for two reasons:

a. He is untrained in theology as far as academia is concerned. My father holds no degree in Bible, yet he is one of the greatest systematic theologians I know. His study is proof what the Holy Spirit can do as a person yields his life to His illumination and works hard to show oneself approved.

b. Possibly more impressive, he’d have personal reason to approach these texts differently. Before coming to a saving knowledge of Jesus Christ, my father married, divorced and remarried. If ever there would be a temptation for eisigesis, he certainly felt it. However, he’s been faithful to engage the text accurately, falling upon the grace of God for His redemption.

Context Argument A—Matthew 5:28

Just before Matthew 5:32 (which some mistakenly believe gives them a right to consider divorce), Jesus makes this statement, “but I say to you that everyone who looks at a woman with lust for her has already committed adultery with her in his heart” (Matthew 5:28). Jesus makes a pretty clear statement here. Flirtation, a stolen kiss, fantasizing, imaging yourself intimate (sexual or not) with someone else, and pornography are all acts of adultery. Each is an act of infidelity to our spouse.

If He then, just four verses later, desires to say (as some suppose) “You may not divorce your spouse unless he/she has committed adultery,” who remains exempt from this? What marriage stands at this point? Proper Biblical instruction is not to move the bar that determines adultery. It is not our place to say, “Well, everyone commits some acts of infidelity, but it is sexual intercourse alone that can be considered adultery.” For that is not at all what Jesus said.

Quite honestly, at this point most men are pointed at. And at this point, I must confess I do not know a man who has mastered the issue of lust (myself included). However, to see the depth of these words, means a woman is not excluded either. I think it is fair to say that though a woman may not be as visually stimulated as a man (generalization), many women entertain thoughts of being rescued by their “knight in shining armor” and typically that knight is not the man with a potbelly and receding hairline sleeping beside them.

Jesus obviously holds to the sanctity of marriage. Again, do not miss the context that after speaking of divorce He immediately refers to the oath keeping. Yet if every act of infidelity is adultery, and every act of adultery breaks the oath, what is the strength of the oath?

Before we would dig any further into the text, we must see two obvious realities:

1. Any honest person must realize they have not been faithful to their spouse. We have all committed acts of adultery.

2. If marriage can be severed simply by these acts of adultery, then none of us have any security in our relationships and our vows are in vain.

No, we must continue to search the text (and we will) for the context suggests what is typically our initial reading must not be accurate.